


A Sunday Afternoon in the Middle of July

by xo_marauders



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Marauders, Marauders era, Maybe a tiny bit of angst, Pining, Post-Prank, Post-Sirius Running Away, Potter Mansion, The Moment Sirius Realized He Was In Love, wolfstar, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22198570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xo_marauders/pseuds/xo_marauders
Summary: While trying to enjoy the rest of his summer with the Marauders, Sirius comes to the realization that his feelings for Remus go way beyond platonic.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 134





	A Sunday Afternoon in the Middle of July

**Author's Note:**

> a request I got on tumblr that I wanted to share here as well (:

It was a Sunday afternoon in the middle of July, summer before sixth year. Sirius had been living at the Potters for about a month after leaving his childhood home behind and the Marauders had all decided to get together at James’ place for one last hurrah before the school year.

They were laying out by the lake—a silvery body of water where Monty taught Sirius how to fish earlier in the month—basking in the hot summer sun in blissful silence. James and Peter had gotten bored ages ago, abandoning Sirius and Remus on the shore and instead going off to swim as James declared that his _“bronze skin wasn’t going to be getting any tanner!”_

Sirius kept stealing glances at Remus, who was lying next to him and getting a far better tan than Sirius was (his pale skin tended to just burn up in the sun). He wondered what was going on in the werewolves mind, noticing the way his friends brows would furrow and unfurrow on their own accord, a tell-tale sign of Remus trying to work something out.

Sirius smiled. It was quite endearing really, the way he so carefully thought out everything. Part of him was envious of this particular trait that Remus had, considering Sirius was quite the opposite. He admired Remus, and the way he seemed to look at everything and everyone with a want to understand. The way he didn’t judge anyone based off of anything other than pure character. It was something Sirius himself was immensely grateful for when he had first met the boy.

“I can feel you staring, Pads.” Remus muttered, a smirk appearing on his lips. Sirius flushed and turned away, his gaze looking toward the clouds floating above them.

“Sorry.”

“I wish you would stop apologizing, Sirius.” The change of tone in Remus’ voice caused Sirius to cringe. He had been walking on pins and needles around Remus for awhile now, afraid that his friend hadn’t really forgiven him for the events that had occurred during the school year, the thoughtless actions he had made that had nearly torn them apart.

The last person in the entire world he wanted to hurt was Remus. Beautiful, strong, kind Remus who had been nothing but wonderful to Sirius since they met. Who had held him during nightmares and wiped away his tears on various occasions. Who supported him when he needed it the most. Who knew Sirius almost better than Sirius knew himself.

“Sorry,” he whispered again before catching himself. “I can’t help it.”

Remus shifted, sitting up on one elbow so that he was looking down at Sirius, his amber eyes almost shining as bright as the sun that illuminated his silhouette. The breath caught in Sirius’ throat as he stared up at his friend, a bit shaken by the skip in his heart. It had been happening for awhile now, longer than Sirius would care to admit. He didn’t know what these feelings were or what they meant. All he knew was that they were preserved especially for Remus.

“I forgave you, Sirius. You’ve done plenty penance on your own accord. It’s in the past. Let’s just move forward, okay?” Remus spoke with a gentle tone and Sirius wanted to cry.

How could someone be so _good_? There was nobody in the world quite like Remus Lupin and Sirius found himself becoming more and more unworthy of his kindness. He was nothing and Remus deserved _everything_. So how was it that Remus could be so kind, so _forgiving_ , toward him? It was remarkable. And Sirius was selfish, because even though he knew deep down he did not deserve this, did not deserve Remus and his wonderful heart, he _longed_ for it. He craved it more than anything in the world because he _needed_ Remus, more than he ever thought he would. He needed Remus like the moon needed the stars

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, the butterflies in his stomach coming to a screeching halt, just like the world around them as he stared up at Remus.

Sirius didn’t just need him. Sirius _loved_ him.

It was so simple, how had he not seen it earlier? With everything else that seemed so messed up in Sirius life, this was the simplest thing he could do: love Remus. It wasn’t hard. It wasn’t strange. It was…easy.

Remus made it so easy.

“You okay there, Pads?” The werewolf spoke, tearing Sirius from his thoughts. He blinked before nodding, a sincere smile appearing on his lips.

He wanted to tell Remus that he was more than okay, that he finally knew what was missing his whole life. He wanted to lean up and kiss Remus, to thank him, to admire him, to _love_ him for everything that he was. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. They were still on fragile ground and Sirius was not going to mess that up by being his impulsive self. Perhaps one day, in the future if he and Remus ever found themselves together in the way Sirius longed for, he would tell him about this day, about this Sunday afternoon when Sirius realized he was in love.

But today was not that day so instead he just smiled and said, “Yes, Moony. I’m perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated   
> come chat with me on tumblr @xomarauders


End file.
